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(Again, those monologues chomp up a show-unbalancing amount of screen time.) When the alert turns out to be a false alarm, all Chappelles outed shady dad can do is look around his blood-spattered home, sarcastically clap his bloody hands in the face of his disgusted family, and tell them to pull the pager out of the cats ass if the unfortunate creature ever turns up

For new projects with higher ratings, there'll be no smoking or e-cigarettes unless it's essential to the creative vision of the artist or because it's character-defining (historically or culturally important)

The discomfort they cause can make you want to pick up the habit again, just to be rid of them

Scoring: Penn State Cigarette Dependence Index (PSCDI) 1